All I Wanted
by borderfame-sabrestar
Summary: DM/HG:7/10 Hermione struggles to forget about Draco, but her romantic life is struggling. She finds feelings she'd buried away when she sees him at the Christmas Party, and wonders why moving on is so hard.


he seventh installment in the little Dramione one shots I have been writing. You can find the previous six as separate stories on my profile :) I hope you like them, thanks for reading :D The song is All I Wanted by Paramore

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><p><strong>All I Wanted<strong>

_Draco/Hermione_

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><p>Hermione shivered as the wintry air of December rushed straight through her jacket and over her skin, causing goosebumps to rise. She shoved her hands into her pockets, and braved the walk down to Hagrid's hut. She often went to see Hagrid when she felt she couldn't talk to Harry, who was forever obsessed with finding out ways to defeat Voldemort, who was spending way too much time mulling over minute details with Dumbledore in his office. They worked like slaves to find a way and every night Harry returned exhausted and infuriated.<p>

_Think of me when you're out, when you're out there_

Ron was not even an option these days. Hermione had started to like him, surprising even herself when she realised this. The holidays they had spent together at the Burrow and Grimmauld Place while Harry had been taken away by Dumbledore on various missions or, in the case of the summer holidays before fifth year, left out of the loop altogether. Hermione and Ron had grown far closer than before, despite their disagreements and their often varying points of view. Though Hermione had thought of him as being fairly idiotic, she couldn't help but admire his loyalty to his friends and his ever enthusiastic attitude – well, towards activities he enjoyed. Homework and study usually wasn't included.

But the more Hermione let herself like Ron, the more upset she felt whenever Draco saw them together. His eyes were always so cold these days, always so – so uncaring. Hermione used to like knowing that Draco never looked at her like that, that he was always just pretending, but these days it wasn't a joke.

_I'll beg you nice from my knees_

Hermione sighed. Not that it really mattered, after Ron's little encounter with Lavender had turned into a serious (and seriously disgusting) relationship. Hermione had felt heartbreak for the first time. She had not just felt guilt, or sadness, like she had felt with Draco. Because for some reason, she knew that if she changed her mind, Draco would take her back with open arms. That was the difference between them. Draco would always put Hermione first, and Hermione was loyal to her friends.

Her friends who abandoned her for silly girls with squeaky voices who endorsed the colour pink at a level that simply wasn't reasonable. Another soft sigh left Hermione's lips and she trundled down the awkwardly steep path towards Hagrid's hut, her red Gryffindor scarf floating behind her, caught up in the wind and her robes billowing around her. It was only when she got to the bottom that she found a small note on Hagrid's door, which said in his scrawled writing, 'Out in the forest, back at 7.'

Hermione checked her watch. It was only four. What could he possibly be doing in the forest for three hours? For some reason, she didn't really want to know. She turned to go back up to the castle when she saw somebody standing halfway down the hill, watching her.

_And when the world treats you way too fairly,_

_Well it's a shame I'm a dream_

It was Draco. Hermione frowned, and Draco was frozen where he stood. He obviously hadn't expected to be caught out, but there weren't any other ways down to Hagrid's so he must have known she'd see him if she turned around.

Hermione let out a heavy sigh, and she began to tread back up the steep path. She thought of ignoring Draco altogether, but she found that whenever she had a chance to talk with him, it was too good an opportunity to miss, especially since he'd acted so coldly towards her since last year, since their encounter after the memorial for Cedric.

She walked back up towards him, and he hadn't walked away. He stared at her, not angrily and not particularly nicely. Just staring. Hermione nodded at him and managed in a suddenly shaky voice, "Hello, Draco."

_All I wanted was you_

He returned the nod a little frostily. "Hermione."

Hermione looked at Draco. His arms were folded over his chest and he was acting rather odd. "Were you following me, Draco?"

"Yes," he replied, almost instantly. Hermione blinked. She hadn't expected him to be so blunt. That said, they hadn't spoken at all recently.

_I think I'll pace my apartment a few times_

"Why?" she asked, a confused frown hovering above her eyes. "What's going on?"

Draco sighed, in a frustrated way. "Nothing, okay?" he said, snapping a little. "I follow you a lot of the time. Not that you'd notice."

Hermione shook her head. "You're – you're unbelievable," she managed, before she went to move past him, and she would have walked away had he not laughed at her and started talking again.

_And fall asleep on the couch_

"What, as unbelievable as falling in love with Weasley?" he said, and Hermione stalled, and she closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to not retaliate. It will only cause more trouble, she said to herself. It will only hurt.

But Draco didn't stop. "Or as unbelievable as you taking McLaggen to the Slug Club Christmas party tonight?"

Hermione spun, her hair whipping around her face as she saw Draco smirking at her. She took a step towards him and she said, her voice raised in her frustration, "Draco Malfoy, you – you are the most repulsive and rude and – and –"

_Wake up early, the black and white re-runs_

She stopped when she saw his smirk turn into a wide smile as he laughed at her. It had been years since she'd heard him laugh, and not in a nasty snicker at somebody else's misfortune. A real laugh. Hermione was lost for words.

_That escape from my mouth_

Draco stared at her dumbfounded face, an expression not often seen on the clever Gryffindor's face and he simply smiled. It was so perfect. His smile was amazing. Hermione felt so confused. She was so hurt at what he had said, so embarrassed that he knew how pathetic she was when it came to boys, but the way he laughed and smiled – it was too much for her to handle.

She shook her head, and turned her head away. "I'm sorry, Draco, I can't – I have to go." Without another word, she quickly strode away, and Draco didn't try to stop her.

_All I wanted was you_

Later on that night, Hermione was staring at her reflection in the bathroom mirror. She'd asked Parvati for help with her hair and makeup, who (despite being otherwise not very good at transfiguration) had somehow mastered a number of spells for styling hair. The makeup, Hermione insisted, should be done manually. Not that she didn't particularly like her eyelashes, but she didn't want to have to go without.

And now here she was, staring at herself in the mirror. She looked lovely. Hermione didn't often dress up, opting for jeans and sweaters instead of skirts and heels. It was rare that she got dolled up. But she had to admit, the results were often impressive. She hardly recognised herself.

Would Draco recognise her? Hermione blushed and shook the thought from her head.

The dress was lovely. She'd picked it up the last time she was in Hogsmeade. It was simple, a pale pink colour. She did despise Lavender for donning so much pink but Hermione had to admit, it was rather pretty. It gathered in nicely at her small waist, and floated gently down to her knees. The heels were sent by her mother, a lovely silver heel with a single strap around her ankle. Hermione swallowed nervously.

Ginny stared at her from the doorway. "You look wonderful, Hermione," she said with a smile. Hermione turned to look at Ginny, who was wearing a wonderfully dark emerald green dress with a black lining, and her red wavy hair fell down her back and shoulders. Her dress was slimmer than Hermione's, but each were lovely in their own way. It was more like Ginny to wear something a little more subtle.

"Thanks," said Hermione. "So do you." The girls shared a smile.

_I could follow you to the beginning_

"Cormac is waiting downstairs," said Ginny, and laughed at the groan which escaped Hermione's lips.

"Oh god! I keep forgetting that I'm going with him," Hermione said, before she held her forehead in her hand. "Oh, Merlin."

They wandered out to the stairs, and Hermione said, "By the way, who did you ask, now that you're not taking Dean?"

The issue was still a little sensitive, but Ginny and Hermione got on well, and Ginny knew it was a question with genuine concern from her friend. She licked her lips a little nervously and she said, "I – um – I'm going with Blaise."

"Blaise?" Hermione repeated, "_Blaise Zabini?_"

"Shh," Ginny hissed, staring around to make sure nobody was watching. "And for the record, he asked me."

"But he's – Blaise," said Hermione, still in shock as they walked down the stairs.

Ginny shot a look at Hermione. "Says you, who danced with Draco Malfoy at the Yule Ball," she said in hushed tones.

_Just to re-live the start_

Hermione, to her surprise, blushed. "We agreed to never bring that up again," she muttered. Ginny and Neville had been two of the people who were dancing late into the night, and though Neville overlooked them in his usual manner, Ginny had made sure to ask Hermione about it the next day. Hermione had insisted it was just one dance, but Ginny was cleverer than that.

"You know it's nothing serious, Hermione," said Ginny, giving a gentle smile as she held her friend's hand. "You went through your Slytherin stage. I'm going through mine. It won't last."

Hermione managed a nod. She'd struggled to escape from her Slytherin stage, though she'd never disclosed that much to either Ginny or Draco.

_Maybe then we'd remember to slow down_

They finished the last set of stairs, and Hermione hated the fact she'd have to walk down more sets of stairs to the classroom where the party was to be held. And she hated the fact that Cormac would insist on having her arm on his. He was so revolting.

She saw his eyes land on her, and travel up and down her body. She felt sick as he leered at her, even more so as he smiled and took her hand, kissing it. Hermione stifled a laugh as Ginny made a vomiting motion on her way out the door.

Hermione avoided holding his hand, which was a relief, but he kept reaching out to touch her hair. She actually slapped his hand away at one point, after which he managed to keep it to a minimum. Ginny was far too amused by this.

The party was only just beginning when they got there. Hermione saw Ginny blush as Blaise gave her a polite kiss on the cheek, an act of affection she had never before seen from the frosty Slytherin boy. That said, Draco was not what everybody thought he was – why should Blaise be any different?

Hermione sighed. She wished she was here with Draco. At least Blaise and Ginny weren't afraid to be seen together. She and Draco were both cowards, but they were both also at opposite ends of the spectrum. It was something which was utterly impossible to have.

Perhaps that was why it was so painful, thought Hermione sadly.

_At all of our favourite parts_

After the party grew a little more, she conceded to a dance with Cormac to the sound of an old record on Filch's huge phonograph which was set up in the middle of the room. Cormac, as Hermione discovered, was not afraid to let his hands wander and she stopped him to tell him he was being inappropriate. Thinking he would respond reasonably like a normal person, Hermione didn't think he would grin and say, "Playing hard-to-get isn't your thing, babe," and attempt to kiss her.

He had in fact succeeded in attaching his lips to hers, but Hermione quickly shoved him away and scurried off to the far corner of the room, her stomach churning as she felt nauseous. She had certainly not planned to have to invoke self defence but she had her wand in her purse and was ready to use it, should he try to accost her again.

After she briefly saw Harry and Luna, and ran off again to avoid seeing Cormac, Hermione was standing behind the Christmas tree, watching the colours and the lights, the laughter in the room as the other students danced and talked, ate and drank – she was readying herself to leave, deciding that she would have had more fun studying, when there was a commotion. She turned her eyes towards the door and she froze when she saw Draco being dragged into the room by Filch.

_All I wanted was you_

"Get your hands off me, you filthy Squib!"

Draco looked so much more tired and pale than he had earlier in the afternoon. He looked drained. Hermione watched as Filch dragged him towards Professor Slughorn, saying he found him skulking around the corridors, when Draco claimed to have been invited to the Christmas Party.

"Alright, I was gatecrashing!" Draco spat, glaring at Filch.

Hermione watched as Snape stepped forward, and said, "I'll escort Mr Malfoy out," he said, rather seriously, despite Slughorn's slurred voice announcing that the boy could stay if he wanted to, there was food enough for everyone, but Snape had already taken a hold of Draco's shoulder and was directing him out of the door.

Hermione watched them go, and then she saw McLaggen scanning the room again, she ducked behind the tree, and then ran over quickly to where Ginny was standing near the drinks table.

"Ginny," Hermione said quickly, "I'm going. I can't deal with McLaggen anymore. I'm going back to finish my potions essay."

Ginny laughed. "I'm sure Cormac will be pleased to hear you'd rather study than spend time with him."

"Tell him I'm sick," said Hermione with a smile. "Tell him dragon tartar is terrible for one's stomach."

Hermione slipped out of her shoes, comfortable though they were (for heels) to walk barefoot along the corridor. She wandered towards the right corridor first, before she realised she had no clue where the Slytherin common room would be. Why she wanted to follow, she wasn't sure – at first she thought she was concerned for Draco, after seeing him look so pale, but now she wondered whether she was doing this for the right reasons at all.

_All I wanted was you._

Before she could turn around to check the left hand corridor, Hermione heard hushed voices coming from nearby. She ducked behind a stone pillar and watched as Draco hissed something she couldn't make out, shoving Snape away from him as he glared at the black-haired potions master.

Snape merely looked at him one last time before he left, striding back off to go to his office. Hermione watched as Draco straightened his robes and made his way towards her. She suddenly saw Harry peering out from behind the corner and she felt a icy cold fear strike her. What if Harry saw her making nice with Draco? What would he think? He was convinced that Draco was the most evil thing to walk the planet, besides Voldemort. Harry would never forgive her, and Ron would hate her forever.

Hermione's fears dissolved when Harry disappeared, retreating from his hiding place to return to the party. He hadn't seen her.

Hermione took a shaky breath and she hissed, "Psst!"

Draco stopped, and turned. His eyes were a little more frightened than Hermione had ever seen them. "Who's there?"

"It's me," Hermione whispered, stepping out from behind the pillar, her hand on the cold stone.

Draco's eyes softened when he saw her. "Who's following who now?" he asked.

"Sorry," Hermione replied automatically, cringing as she said it. "I just – wanted to see if you were okay. You look pale."

"I'm fine," he said. "How's Cormac?"

"Horrid," Hermione replied, and then as Draco let a tiny smile twitch at the corner of his lips, Hermione couldn't help but laugh.

She stepped out from the wall, and she said, her smile fading a little, "Be honest, Draco – what's wrong?"

Draco tore his eyes away from her and his smile disappeared altogether. "Nothing," he muttered. "I'm fine."

Hermione wished she could tell him the truth. How hypocritical of her to ask honestly of him, when she was lying to everybody. She wished she could tell Draco how much she missed him, how much she longed to be close to him, how she wished he would kiss her even though they weren't allowed to. She felt like a coward, she felt like a liar and she felt such a heavy guilt weighing on her heart, knowing that she was the cause for his pain when she could so easily make him happy.

Because the truth was, no matter how much she wished that Ron would like her, and no matter how much (unwanted) attention Cormac paid to her, all she wanted was Draco. She would never admit it to anybody, not even to herself. But it was a harsh truth.

They were just too many worlds apart.

_All I wanted was you_

Hermione reached out and she gently took his long-fingered, elegant hand in her own, and she watched the surprise appear on his face, his eyebrows shooting up and his eyes opening a little more than the usual narrow glare. She gave him a small smile and said, "I know I said I have to be there for Harry – but Draco, I still care for you. I don't like knowing you're troubled."

Draco stared at her and he lifted his hand, as though to touch her hair, but he hesitated. "Hermione, I –" he began, but then he heard the sound of voices coming from the Christmas Party.

Hermione glanced at the corridor and then back to Draco. "I think it's over."

He nodded, and then he let her hand slip from his. He stared at her one last time, and said with a voice so honest and eyes so sincere, "Thankyou, Hermione. For everything."

And without another word, he strode away, leaving Hermione barefoot in the corridor.

_All I wanted was you._


End file.
